I thought that in the online dating world, it would be easier to avoid the whole feeling of rejection. You don't have to get all nervous and work up the nerve to ask someone out and then have them say no in your face.
Or you know how it worked back in the day, you'd pass your friend a note in class asking them to pass a note to the totally cute boy that you had a crush on, and she would do so being excited to be involved in this match-making quest...dreaming of the day that she's the maid of honor at your wedding all because she totally hooked you up. Then you would have to sit through class and pretend to listen as you watch said adorable boy open the note and laugh at the thought of dating you. Your friend gets the note back and the box is checked no (friends were so original in their set up strategies weren't they?). Then you spend the rest of the day crying in the bathroom, while cute boy and his buddies laugh at your expense...not that this has ever happened to me or anything.
So online has got to be easier right? There's no face to face contact, so if you send off a message and they don't respond big deal right?
Oh how incorrect am I? Why? because most of these sites have a section where you can click on your sent messages and see if they've been read or not! Not only read, but read and deleted! OUCH! Not even a "thanks for your application, but we've decided to go in a different direction at this time." Or even something like "you're too over qualified for the position." At least something to soften the blow a bit. Nope! Read/Deleted.
I think that Read/deleted is actually better then just "Read" because as long as it says "Read" you can still hold onto some hope that this person will write back. Read/Deleted is pretty final!
Rejection accomplished!
So not only can you see if your possible candidate has read your message, you can also go and see who has viewed your profile!!! Then you see who didn't want to message you in the first place! When you're out at a bar, a million guys could look at you all night and you're not going to wonder why this guy, or that guy hasn't approached you. But now that you can view the list of the men who have clicked your profile and then moved onto the next one without so much as a hello, you have to wonder what went wrong. Something made them click in the first place, but then they got on there and went...OH GOOD GOD NO, and went back tot heir search.
Rejection Accomplished!
And the 2 ultimate rejections!!!
the ignoring of the IM. You IM someone instead of sending an e-mail. HAHA, I'm talking to you and I know you're there, you can't possible ignore me now! Wrong again! I'm just going to pretend I'm not at my computer and you'll go away.
Rejection Accomplished!
And I think this is the worst of all.
The "thanks for your message but I'm seeing someone already." Oh, do you think that makes it better? NO BONEHEAD!!! If you're already seeing someone then why the hell are you still trolling the singles site?!?!!? Do you think it makes me feel better that you've either A) found someone who rocks your world, while I'm still single? or B) you flat out just lied to my face! (so-to-speak)
Rejection Accomplished!!!
Ahh Online dating, where you can go anonymously search for THE ONE, and not have to worry about the fear of rejection. RIIIIGHHHT!
Maybe it should be more along the lines of "it's easier TO reject someone online and not have the whole guilt factor sink in." Because have I used all of the above tactics in my online pursuit? Yes I Have!
Rejection Accomplished!
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5 comments:
Eeek. This process seems just as painful!
Holly rude!!! There has to be a better way. I just tried eHarmony for the first time ever last night and I was extremely frustrated. Wrote a post about it.
Sometimes, I'm inclined to think that online dating might be better in theory. Like eHarmony and their compatibility algorithm. If only love was that easy to find. Sigh.
But you're right, there is no need to be rude about it. I'll be checking back for more of your stories and maybe I'll give online dating another go. ;)
In reference to my other blog, I'd have to add your email address in order for you to read it.
It's nothing of interest. Just all the nasty things I think about the people I don't really like who I can't seem to get rid out of my life. I just decided not to make up names for them.
Therefore, it can be traced back to me. ;)
One thing I began to notice before I took an online dating hiatus, was that a lot of guys were using the "Who's viewed me" as a way to get the woman to contact them. I kept noticing that several guys kept returning to my profile but not contacting me. When I read their profiles, most of them were not members and wanted the women they viewed to send an email so they could communicate. Cheapskates!
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