Monday, April 14, 2008

It's All About the Tag Line

WOO, two posts in one day, I better pace myself!

I'm only posting this because, as I sift through some online profiles I notice that it's become really hard to catch my eye. And I don't mean picture wise...but I do recommend putting a picture on your profile. The main reason is, that way you know you're not clicking on a cousin or something. YIKES!

Very few Tag Lines (head lines - whatever they're called) grab my attention and give off that come hither vibe. So I started to pay closer attention to them and notice the complete lack of creativity out there! Same old, same old. Are there any men reading this? Tell me, are women just as uncreative (is that a word?) with their profiles?

Think about it, you're trying to attract people to your profile right? So why would you have the same old line as everyone else. When you're reading the paper, if the headline doesn't grab your attention, do you read the article? Likely not. Why? because you're already bored so why waste your time!

So here are the tag lines that I am absolutely sick of seeing. These do not make me want to click your profile (unless you're smoking Hot, then who cares - jk). Basically quit stating the obvious (leave that to Dr Phil - man that guy is a quack - "you need to stop beating your wife." Thanks Captain Obvious. I coulda said that and I sure as hell don't get paid a trillion dollars to do so - sorry off topic)

OK, so take these and erase them from any online profile creating guide you have:

Looking for Someone special/special someone/Ms Right <-- We're all looking for someone special, or we wouldn't be on the site in the first place. DUH!

Looking for a Down to Earth girl/sweet girl/nice girl <-- Does anyone want a head in the clouds, airheaded bitch? probably not.

How you doin'? ;-) <-- Friends went off the air in 2004 (well new episodes anyway), and Joey went with it! It's 2008, step up the pick up lines!

Looking for a sexy girl! <-- the only reason I posted this is because most of the guys who have this as their tag line (Not all, just most), are not what anybody would consider sexy!!!

Looking for a normal girl! <-- um the voices in my head tell me I'm normal, so that counts right? Who's going to come out and say "I'm a crazy, homicidal, maniac, wanna go out?"

<-- Really? That's the most creative thing you could come up with?

See what I mean? these are boring. they're not creative and they don't scream out CLICK ME CLICK ME CLICK ME!
uh YAWN!

However, the insanely boring are absolutely better then the following:

Looking for a fun, honest, nice girl <-- as opposed to a boring, lying bitch!

Single guy <-- I hope so, because if you're not, you've stumbled on the wrong site my friend!

nice guy looking for a chance <-- Dude, I get your plight, but this sounds a bit desperate to me!

Seeking a fun little lady to spend time <-- Did you really just say "little lady?" and spend time what? Guys PLEASE, DO NOT use the word LADY in your tag line! (Unless you're in your 60's and looking for a woman in her 60's, in which case, LADY away!)

Teddy Bear's looking for a Snuggle Bunny <-- Uh listen Shmoopy, no one talks like that! If anyone starts baby talking with me and calling me their little snuggle bunny, I may have to get medieval up in this. Some pet names are fine - Honey, sweetie, baby - I draw the line at Snuggle Bunny!

Looking for Smaller Lady
<-- Not only is this so wrong on so many levels! (OK he's honest but still) the guy who posted this claimed to be 27. In his picture he looks about 57. Nice try! why not just come out and say "No Fatties" and be done with it?

looking for a sexy kitty <-- Seriously??? This profile (or the brief intro paragraph I saw since I did not click on it), went on to say he's looking for a naughty girl! Moving on!

Where's all the good looking ladies?? <-- Just come out and say "Ladies, Ladies, Ladies, Jay and Silent Bob are in the Hizzouse!?" Actually I'd find that funny, but I'm sure you get my point!

Nice honest guy looking for the same <-- I get your point, but you may want to change your wording. Because if you're also looking for a nice honest guy, then you need to change your profile settings.

average guy seeks average girl
<-- "For mediocre relationship where we'll maybe hang out and shit. you know, whatever." A little enthusiasm please!

Those were just the ones I found this afternoon. I've seen worse!

Now to end this post on a high note! (see, I'm not a critical bitch all the time)! There are some very creative guys out there! And some classics that I laugh at no matter how many guys use em.

Do you like stuff? <-- I grew up with the Simpsons and Ralph Wiggum is funny! Plus this one one of the classic episodes!

The guy below/above me has a small package <--I laugh every time, do any girls write "the chick above/below has small boobs"?

I like dancing bananas <-- I have no idea what this means, but hey it's different

Found: 1 Glass Slipper. <-- Are you my Prince Charming? I've always been a little jealous of Cinderella. Plus I like shoes!

Looking for a girl to shovel my driveway <-- Cute! Good luck with that!

luckily, were both charming <-- Funny and true! 2 points for you!

Why do girls only want SEX?
<-- This guy definitely has a sense of humor! I think he was dreaming when he wrote this!

So guys, be creative, be innovative. You're trying to stand out, not blend!


Two Date Diva said...

These are great! I've read a few doosies. Too many to even post.

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