Friday, April 4, 2008

The Search is on, and Boys are crazy

Welcome everyone to my blog. I am creating this blog out of frustration with the whole online dating world. I am from a small town where choice men are few and far between, so I thought I would try this whole online dating thing that seems to work so well for those happy couples on TV. I signed up to a few sites a couple of years ago, went on one date, and decided I wasn't quite ready to jump back into the dating scene. (I had been with one guy for 5 years and it ended badly and I wasn't quite over it I suppose).

But now I'm back. I've updated my profile, and if I do say so myself, I'm a catch! I'm not a size six, but I'm not exactly a whale either. I'm average! I'm lots of fun, I'm nice, I'm caring, and I'm a bit shy. I'm well educated, I have a career, I don't have kids or crazy ex husbands. I have strong values, and lots of hobbies. Basically I'm a nice, normal, well rounded individual. So why is this so freakin hard? And why do I seem to attract all the crazies? I just don't get it.

I had been chatting up this one guy, who seemed interested (and normal) but now he seems to have dropped off the face fo the earth.

And then there were a few other promising prospects (in the beginning anyway), but here is how they went.

The first guy lived a bit far away, but hey it could work, it was only a couple fo hours. We had been chatting and then my busy season hit at my job and I was not as quick to get back to his e-mails. He sent me an e-mail saying that I obviously wasn't interested anymore. I replied that I was still interested, and appologized for not answering quicker or being around to chat and explained that I was insanely busy at work, but that was only for a few more days.

Here was his response:
Yu know what? I think I'll pass. I did say I wasn't interested in people who play games, and obviously you're not entirely honest, so good and hopefully you'll be more honest for the next guy.

Not sure how he got that from "I'm so sorry I've been crazy busy at work." But whatever. I'm chalking it up to he's clingy and I don't need that.

Next guy I messaged because we had quite a few things in common and we seemed to be looking for the same things. We talked for 5 minutes (litterally messaged each other for 5 minutes and only talked about 1 topic). Then he asked if we could meet. Well as I said I'm a bit shy, and after a tough break up, I'm a bit guarded and don't want to jump into anything and get hurt again. (I'm sure there are a ton of you out there who feel the same way). So I said that I would need to chat more and get to know him before meeting IRL. (In Real Life for those playing the home game). I explained why, that I was afraid of getting hurt again. So, this guy, who was perfectly nice in our 5 minute conversation, turned into a mega asshole in a flash.

Here's the run down of that conversation: He's in Blue, I'm in Green, my comments are in black.

what made you send me a message
well I liked your profile, it sounded like we had some things in common, and I wanted to get to know you, chat a bit and see how things go.
and how things went lol? why is this funny?
But see, I'm actually quite shy, so I really do need to chat a bit before meeting anyone in person as in longer then 5 minutes
and how long that bit?
to be honest i am not the type that chat forever 5 mintues is forever? Impatient much?
so if you are not comfortable meeting after couple of times i dont want to waste your time or mine <-- Just to clarify "a couple fo times." Right before this he asked when and where we could meet.
um well OK, I'm sorry you feel that way. I was a little caught off guard and really didn't know what to say!
i am looking to meet someone to have something stable and dont want to waste time chatting forever again with the forever!
gotcha. See I was hurt pretty bad before, so I'm a bit nervous to to start anything. maybe nervous was the wrong choice of words. reluctant to meet someone after an exteremly brief conversation would have been better!
so dont be on a dating site <-- OK, excuse me, but who the fuck are you?!?
sorry i might be blunt bt i am honest You also need to work on spelling, punctuation and grammar (yeah now I'm just being catty - sue me!)
that's how you feel, and you're entitled to that.
i am not asking you to tell me how i feel lol So am I talking to Jekyl or Hyde now, because I'm confused! and again, why is this funny!? AND...I'm not asking you to tell me how I should go about this whole dating thing. My life jack ass!!! (Damn, why didn't I think of that at the time?)
so if i understood youa re not ready to live in the present and you want to live in your fear of getting hurt again? raise your hand if you've been hurt and your a bit worried about getting hurt again. No one wants that, it sucks!
pretty much yup <-- I basically said this because I was totally done with this conversation and really what is the point in arguing with this idiot!? It was also supposed to have sarcastic undertones! (as in, that's what you believe, so why should I waste my time trying to tell you otherwise)
youa dmitt you want to live in the past?
look, I'm not interested in arguing. if that's you're opinion then fine. It's not that I'm living in the past, I'm just trying to protect myself.
have a good life, i am not here to live other people dramas Remind me again, who's the one causing the drama?!?

OK, so you're deleted and I really don't need some multiple personality, angry, dumb ass in my life, so thanks for showing your true colours EARLY!

And this last guy. We seem to have a lot in common (again), we're looking for the same things (again), and we've been e-mailing back and forth, and everything is going smoothly. But he has no picture on his profile. (I have pictures, I figure you want to see who you're talking to, and lets face it, there has to be SOME physical attraction if you're going to date someone. Everyone can say it's what's inside that counts, but looks do count a little). So this guy is reluctant to send pictures. after about the 3rd or 4th e-mail he finally does, and OMG these pictures are so fake!!! Because anyone who is as hot as this guy claimed to be, is not reluctant to show anyone any pictures. And, well, if they are real pictures...THEN DAMN!!!! So I subtly, kind of, call him on the fakeness of his pictures, by asking questions about where they were taken (there was some interesting landscape in the background). Now like I said, I have pictures on my profile, so this guy has seen me and pictures of my hands. (You'll understand why this is important in a second) was his response to my question about the pictures!!!

i don't like girls who wear a lot of rings sorry...seems odd and well...maybe a little whacky for me to think that way...just can't see myself with some who likes that bye...

Are you fucking kidding me?!?!

If 1 ring on each hand is a lot, then he’s never gonna find a girl. Seriously, what the hell kind of excuse is that? and this is after one of the first messages where he says he's a NORMAL guy! Is that what the doctors have been telling you buddy?

So that's just a glimpse into the last 3 guys I've chatted with. (and the middle guy wonders why I'm a bit skeptical and don't want to meet right away).

This blog is going to mark my progress in the online dating world. If nothing else, it will be entertaining for you readers. Because all the crazies are going to end up on here. (yes I have wondered if maybe it's me, but come on - I don't like rings - that's not me, that just stupid)!

So enjoy the ride kids, because obviously it's going to be a bumpy one!!!


Jesica said...


I caught your link on the 2datediva blog. This should be interesting! I'm in a relationship but I know how you feel, it's hard to meet any normal people these days. And to comment on your experiences thus far, be glad those luny, passive-agressive colors came out before you were stuck in a restaurant with these jerks!!

Good luck!

Two Date Diva said...

Wow, you have been christened by fire girl! I have online dated a bit and unfortunately these guys are common. At least you only invested a couple of bad conversations with these men. Be thankful. Great blog, I'l stay tuned!

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