Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Is it Too Good To Be True?

K Briefly on this hand fetish thing! One of my commenters (I believe Two Date Diva) mentioned that she had heard of foot fetishes, but not hand fetishes. I agree I had never heard of them either. But now I'm starting to think I'm living under a rock! Because this message just arrived in my inbox, from a DIFFERENT guy... and for the record, there is no close up picture of my hands or anything on any profil ethat I have!

Subject: Your Subject Line here-----your pic's
nice polished fingernails...nice !!

That's it, that was the whole message!! Is there a club or something? maybe I better filter through my photos and take some out!

Anyway, on to the real topic. I've been chatting with a guy on MSN and it's actually going well! He's nice, he hasn't made any stupid comments (like the moron who said I fill out my shirt well), and he actually seems interested. So am I missing something? Is this just too good to be true? I wonder if he'd go see Sex In the City with me? If he agrees to that, then he really is too good to be true!

Stay tuned for updates!

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

I Can't Even Believe the Nerve of this Guy

Remember a few posts back, the guy who had kind of a hand obsession, but didn't think he could date someone who wore "so many rings?" (I wear 1 on each hand). Anyway, I thought that after that little conversation, that things were oh so over with this idiot. WOW was I wrong on that front. This jack-ass extrodinaire had the nerve to message me and ask me to post a new photo of me with just my hands!

Dude, you're a few aces short of a full deck! Like I need the image of you jerkin your gerkin to a picture of my hands! EWW!

Other then that little tidbit, my online dating life (and IRL dating life) has been less then exciting, so I have nothing new to report. Sad I know. But I have some events coming up that could be promising in the whole dating department. So stay tuned!

Friday, May 9, 2008

Totally Off Topic but Worth a Discussion OR DUMBEST SURVIVOR PLAYER EVER!

Short and sweet today since I haven't been checking my online dating e-mail, so I have nothing bad to report. Actually I have some good. (I know, I'm shocked too). I've been talking to a guy on MSN who seems normal, and isn't making drunken pick-up line comments.


Who watched Survivor last night? All I have to say is Erik, I hope you like your ice cream scooping job. You're going to be there a while brother. We kind of pinned what was going to happen early on. Since the previews said it would be a shock, I said he's going to give away his immunity. Then I started thinking that he cannot be THAT stupid. Oh did he prove me wrong. I think Amanda's comments to the camera while she was voting summed it up well...because she basically was at a loss for words.

They showed Ozzy's face and he had a complete look of WTF as he shook his head. And James, always good for a laugh proudly announces "I am no longer the dumbest survivor in history."

in closing, I would like to quote from Jeff Probst and the recap on www.televisionwithoutpity.com

Probst calls this a "life lesson," although if that's a lesson you need for your life I'm not sure how much longer you're going to be living it. Putting pants on in the morning has to be quite the brainteaser.

Tuesday, May 6, 2008

MSN is the Singles Bar of the Internet.

Well dear readers, I thought that this would be a rather slow week. Not too much action on the old dating sites. But then I received an IM from a man I had decided was worthy enough to be added to MSN. We had chatted a bunch of times and he seemed like a nice guy, we had things in common. You know just your basic idle chit chat. Now, I don't know what it is about MSN that causes this whole Jekyll and Hyde syndrome, but MY GOD! It's like as soon as some of them get on MSN it's like a invitation for their unattractive, bar pick-up guy side to come out.

Things started out nice and normal. You know "hi, how are you?" All the pleasantries. Then a compliment! "I love the picture of you in your office." Aww isn't that sweet ladies? He said "I presented myself well." OK whatever that means, It's a compliment, I'll take it. But beware of the compliment ladies, it's like a set up. Butter you up so you let down your guard and then WHAM! they hit you with the bull shit! It's like "here little girl, want some candy." Don't take the candy! Don't get into the inconspicuous white van. STRANGER DANGER!

Because after this compliment "nice guy" went to "drunk pick up line guy" like that! (pretend I just snapped my fingers).

"Yeah you really fill out that shirt well. I'm having visions of attacking you at your desk." At this point, were I actually at a bar, I would be looking at this guy with the one raised eyebrow clearly meaning "you're kidding right? that's the best you got?"

Had he stayed nice guy and just stuck with the compliment, I would have kept chatting. But, no, you had to mention the girls didn't you. My eyes are up here bone head.

So I did the equivalent of walking away at a bar. Blocked!

And another one bites the dust!

Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Dude You're like 100 Years Old. Back the EFF OFF!

What is it with like 65 year old men messaging 20 something year old women? I really don't understand the mentality here. Unless you look like Clooney or Connery, I doubt you have a shot buddy! And if you do have a shot, um gross.

I know Viagara has made it possible for you men to keep up with the younger population, but seriously, how many women in my age group are actually psyched about meeting with a man who is likely older then her father? Unless she has Daddy issues...and even then, eww.

Can someone please explain this phenomenon to me?

I also want to know, why, when my profile says I'm looking for long term, and I want children someday and I'm looking for someone with similar interests and between the ages of 27 and 35, these old men actually think that I am going to answer their message that says "hey baby, you're hot, we should hook up for some casual fun." (actual message in my inbox). Dream on buddy, just because I'm on an online dating site doesn't mean I'm desperate.

Go away, it ain't gonna happen!

Thursday, April 24, 2008

Websites Don't Listen

So I'm checking out a new site (since the other I'm on does not seem to be producing results). I fill out their questionaire on what I like and what I'm looking for.

One of my big things is absolutely NO SMOKERS! So I click the link that says my matches and I want to know how this ingenious website decides that these gentlemen are my matches? I think the whole questionaire thing is just a scam. Here's why...I enter the age range I'm looking for and there were a pile of "matches" out of my age range. I said to only show profiles with pictures. most of the profiles shown have no pictures. I said no smokers and the first profile I clicked on was a "heavy smoker."

And here is the main reason why I think these questionaires and the fact that they match you on compatibility is bull shit is because lets say I clicked on 10 profiles. 9 out of 10 of those profiles had NO INFORMATION.

For one thing, how does the site know that we're a match if the guy hasn't filled out his info to match up with my info? (KWIM?)

And second, guys, if you don't fill out your profile, then how am I supposed to know that I want message you? DUH!

Anyway, that's my brief rant for the day. Back to the search. I'm also on the lookout for some more crazy profiles!

Monday, April 21, 2008

I have a longer, better post to put up later when I'm more awake. But I had to add this while it was fresh in my mind.

I went on one of my online dating sites to check my messages (none *sigh*) but on the homepage was a smattering of random profiles, and this was the first one...male, 54, wants kids (what?) here was his profile... Oh it says the type of relationship he's looking for is a talk/e-mail one, but then that oh so important tagline I mentioned says "looking for a wife."

i love asian women i know they raised right and make excellent wives to be with they also dont think age is a problems and besides all that they are most berautiful women in the world and i willing to fly to meet and be with you so we know we right forever

OMG!!! Do profiles like this really work? Don't they call this mail-order brides?

It takes all kinds I suppose!

Thursday, April 17, 2008

I Club Online

Again, thanks to all those leaving comments and reading my ramblings.

Now onto my topic today...

My friends have asked me why I'm trying the online dating thing and why I don't just meet someone at a bar or a club or something. Well for several reasons.

1) Online I can post my best pictures and then sit at home in my jammies, with my hair in a pony tail and no make up and stuff my face with Cheetos and no one has to know about it.

2) The "club scene" where I live consists of one sports bar where old guys hang out. If I do decide to go to, what would be considered, the nearest city where there are 2 clubs, here is the demographic; The first one has live bands that suck and age range anywhere from 19 (legal age where I live) to 107 (I'm estimating). The last time I was there with my girls, the group on the dance floor next to us consisted of some old biker broad who had long scraggly grey hair and was dressed all in leather. How you can wear all leather in a club I have no idea. The only reason I ever go there is because I know some of the employees and can get free booze. The demographic at the other club is basically a bunch of eleventeen-year-olds with fake id's.

3) The "good" clubs are over an hour away from me, which means I have to find a place to stay for the night (or not drink), and it's too much hassle.

4) The "good" clubs are in fact, not all that good.

5) Most of my close friends are married with kids or are in some kind of long term relationship *sigh* and they most certainly do not want to go clubbing. They want to do couple things. Blech! My single friends that do want to go out, are basically a bunch of idiots when they're drunk and I really don't want to baby-sit them all night.

6) I like sleeping. staying up until dawn is not fun for me anymore (man I'm old). I figure I'll get enough sleepless nights when I have kids, so for now I'm sleeping!

I have basically decided that my clubbing days are behind me. And if I wasn't sure before, then my last clubbing experience definitely locked in that decision for me. Grab some popcorn and settle in, cause I'm going to fire some entertainment your way.

A close friend of mine was celebrating her birthday and asked if I'd come out clubbing with her and some of her other friends. Based on what I mentioned above, I'm not a big fan of clubbing anymore. But she lives where the "good" clubs are, I could stay at her house, and she had the VIP room reserved at her favourite club. So hey, if I actually get to go to a club and say "I'm on the list," I'm game. I want to feel all important for the night. Plus she is a good friend and it's her birthday, so I'm in!
Now what to wear?!? Back in my younger, stupider, slightly thinner days (so about 5-6 years ago), my girls and I went clubbing all the time. Almost every night. To the point that we were exhausted by Saturday night and we stayed home. Anyway, when we went clubbing, yes we wanted to look fabulous, but we also wanted to be comfortable while dancing the night away. So some black pants, a cute, slinky tank top, some adorable sandals, glittery makeup, hair pulled up so it's out of the way but still cute, and you're good to go. The boys will come a runnin'. My Lord, how times have changed! The extreme effort that goes into the "look" for a night out at the club makes me tired just thinking about it (and broke). OK admittedly, every pair of shoes that I saw were adorable (some were not worn correctly - black tights with open toes fuchsia pumps, oh honey no!). Footwear aside, what is with the wardrobe? Is there a contest as to how whored up these youngins can look? (yeah I said youngins)Are you not afraid to move in dresses that short. You'll be doing the Britney and flashing your business to everyone. Unless that's your way of advertising. And Victoria let the secret out didn't she? I have always been fairly gifted in that department, but MY GOODNESS! Who needs implants when a good push up will do the trick? The clevage perfection being demonstrated was astounding! (and no I do not have implants, it's all real on this body). And did they go to a salon before heading out the door? Hair is perfectly done, make-up is immaculate. Obviously, clubbing is not about go out, dancing, and having fun anymore! It's who can look the most like Paris Hilton.

So we arrive at the club and get in line!!! Wait what happened to the VIP room? Oh she never called to reserve it. Well she knows the owner or something right, get us in, it's cold out here. (I'm wearing a coat and pants and closed toes shoes...the girls behind us, not so lucky). So we stand in line shivering for an hour. (by now it's midnight and I really just want to go to bed). So we get in, check our coats and walk up the flight of stairs to the club (about 15 steep steps, keep that in mind cause it comes in handy later). We wait at the bar, and wait, and wait, and wait. I could have finished a bottle of rum at home by now! We get one drink and now she wants to go dance. Cool with me I like dancing. So out to the dance floor. Were they always this crowded? I swear to God if one more person bumps into me or pushes me out of the way, or steps on my toes, I'm am going to go postal!
Now it's 1am and my feet hurt. Maybe cause I was standing in heels in the cold for an hour already. I wear heels all the time, I live in them. But that's at work where I sit on my ass all day. They're more for show then practicality. So I'm sitting on the couch near my dancing friends, but I'm tired, I'm cranky, I'm far from buzzed, and I'm bored. And I'm tried of watching girls make idiots of themselves to impress guys. So I'm heading downstairs. It's 1:30, they shut down at 2:00 I can handle half an hour. I get my coat and wait, chat up the bouncers (who are super hot and very nice - OK so the night wasn't a total waste).
Now, remember those stairs I mentioned. The person who decided to put a club full of drunk chicks in 4 inch heels at the top of a steep flight of stairs, is an evil and twisted person. But God bless them, because it is entertaining as hell watching drunk chicks in heels try and make it down the stairs. Until you get the too drunk to walk individual.
Here she comes, and she's with a group. This drunk Asian girl (I'm not trying to be racists, just painting a picture), is partially stumbling, and partially being carried by her boyfriend to the top of the stairs. The bouncers and I watch, because this is going to be funny. Oh and she's still carrying her drink. She stumbles forward, but catches herself (damn), and stumbles backwards to lean against the wall. As her friends try to convince her to attempt the stairs, Drunk One decides to smash the glass against the wall. Hmm that's an interesting turn of events. Broken glass in hand Drunk One uses said glass to SLIT HER WRISTS!!! Yeah you heard me! The bouncers went running and I was in shock. Turns out she didn't cut that deep, but still, WTF?! How drunk are you that wrist slitting seems like a good plan in the middle of a club?
That drama is over, and now there's a new act taking place at the coat check. Two girls fighting over (what else) a man! High school called, it wants it's drama back! moving on.
K, it's 2am, this place should be shutting down and I can put my jammies on and go to bed! SWEET! hmm, but the walls are still vibrating from the beat, and the crowd hasn't begun to spill out yet. So I ask the hot bouncers what the deal is. Last call is at 2, the club shuts down at 3. FANTASTIC!!! Was that the rule when I was clubbing? It probably was, but I probably didn't care, because I didn't need sleep back then.
Back to the entertainment. Drunk chicks are funny. Chicks pretending to be drunk, whole 'nother ball game. Why do people do this? Do you think your cool because you're acting drunk, when you're very clearly not? You're obviously using it to drape yourself all over random guys and stumble around like a complete moron and you look a goon so stop it!
As 3am approaches, the crowd in the lobby is getting thicker. Some drunk guy leans on me and asks if I want to go back to his place for a drink. Oh please can I? Um, no I'm good thanks buddy!
So who are the last people out of the club? oh that would be my firends, because they are a bit younger and not quite as dull as I am. Club night is over, we can go home now right? OH NO! We're going to so-and-so's for pizza. Well the Pizza was good and I was hungry, so that was alright.
5am rolls around and I'm finally going to bed (or to couch I guess - I don't care, it's sleepy time)! 7am rolls around and I'm awake! WTF? What happened to the days where I could stay out until 5am and then sleep til noon and get up and do it all again without batting an eye? Oh that's right, reality happened and I have to work from 9-5 now on a daily basis. so my body thinks 7am is wake up time no matter when I sleep. Whatever, I can sneak out and go home and veg for the day...

And go back to searching online, in my jammies, with no makeup and bags under my eyes, yawning every 2 minutes, and eating PB and J sandwiches while I watch the Law & Order: SVU Marathon on USA and do my laundry.

Could my life really have become that boring in such little time. My friends, you have no idea!!!

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

I Noticed You Noticing Me!

I thought that in the online dating world, it would be easier to avoid the whole feeling of rejection. You don't have to get all nervous and work up the nerve to ask someone out and then have them say no in your face.

Or you know how it worked back in the day, you'd pass your friend a note in class asking them to pass a note to the totally cute boy that you had a crush on, and she would do so being excited to be involved in this match-making quest...dreaming of the day that she's the maid of honor at your wedding all because she totally hooked you up. Then you would have to sit through class and pretend to listen as you watch said adorable boy open the note and laugh at the thought of dating you. Your friend gets the note back and the box is checked no (friends were so original in their set up strategies weren't they?). Then you spend the rest of the day crying in the bathroom, while cute boy and his buddies laugh at your expense...not that this has ever happened to me or anything.

So online has got to be easier right? There's no face to face contact, so if you send off a message and they don't respond big deal right?

Oh how incorrect am I? Why? because most of these sites have a section where you can click on your sent messages and see if they've been read or not! Not only read, but read and deleted! OUCH! Not even a "thanks for your application, but we've decided to go in a different direction at this time." Or even something like "you're too over qualified for the position." At least something to soften the blow a bit. Nope! Read/Deleted.

I think that Read/deleted is actually better then just "Read" because as long as it says "Read" you can still hold onto some hope that this person will write back. Read/Deleted is pretty final!

Rejection accomplished!

So not only can you see if your possible candidate has read your message, you can also go and see who has viewed your profile!!! Then you see who didn't want to message you in the first place! When you're out at a bar, a million guys could look at you all night and you're not going to wonder why this guy, or that guy hasn't approached you. But now that you can view the list of the men who have clicked your profile and then moved onto the next one without so much as a hello, you have to wonder what went wrong. Something made them click in the first place, but then they got on there and went...OH GOOD GOD NO, and went back tot heir search.

Rejection Accomplished!

And the 2 ultimate rejections!!!

the ignoring of the IM. You IM someone instead of sending an e-mail. HAHA, I'm talking to you and I know you're there, you can't possible ignore me now! Wrong again! I'm just going to pretend I'm not at my computer and you'll go away.

Rejection Accomplished!

And I think this is the worst of all.
The "thanks for your message but I'm seeing someone already." Oh, do you think that makes it better? NO BONEHEAD!!! If you're already seeing someone then why the hell are you still trolling the singles site?!?!!? Do you think it makes me feel better that you've either A) found someone who rocks your world, while I'm still single? or B) you flat out just lied to my face! (so-to-speak)

Rejection Accomplished!!!

Ahh Online dating, where you can go anonymously search for THE ONE, and not have to worry about the fear of rejection. RIIIIGHHHT!

Maybe it should be more along the lines of "it's easier TO reject someone online and not have the whole guilt factor sink in." Because have I used all of the above tactics in my online pursuit? Yes I Have!

Rejection Accomplished!

Monday, April 14, 2008

It's All About the Tag Line

WOO, two posts in one day, I better pace myself!

I'm only posting this because, as I sift through some online profiles I notice that it's become really hard to catch my eye. And I don't mean picture wise...but I do recommend putting a picture on your profile. The main reason is, that way you know you're not clicking on a cousin or something. YIKES!

Very few Tag Lines (head lines - whatever they're called) grab my attention and give off that come hither vibe. So I started to pay closer attention to them and notice the complete lack of creativity out there! Same old, same old. Are there any men reading this? Tell me, are women just as uncreative (is that a word?) with their profiles?

Think about it, you're trying to attract people to your profile right? So why would you have the same old line as everyone else. When you're reading the paper, if the headline doesn't grab your attention, do you read the article? Likely not. Why? because you're already bored so why waste your time!

So here are the tag lines that I am absolutely sick of seeing. These do not make me want to click your profile (unless you're smoking Hot, then who cares - jk). Basically quit stating the obvious (leave that to Dr Phil - man that guy is a quack - "you need to stop beating your wife." Thanks Captain Obvious. I coulda said that and I sure as hell don't get paid a trillion dollars to do so - sorry off topic)

OK, so take these and erase them from any online profile creating guide you have:

Looking for Someone special/special someone/Ms Right <-- We're all looking for someone special, or we wouldn't be on the site in the first place. DUH!

Looking for a Down to Earth girl/sweet girl/nice girl <-- Does anyone want a head in the clouds, airheaded bitch? probably not.

How you doin'? ;-) <-- Friends went off the air in 2004 (well new episodes anyway), and Joey went with it! It's 2008, step up the pick up lines!

Looking for a sexy girl! <-- the only reason I posted this is because most of the guys who have this as their tag line (Not all, just most), are not what anybody would consider sexy!!!

Looking for a normal girl! <-- um the voices in my head tell me I'm normal, so that counts right? Who's going to come out and say "I'm a crazy, homicidal, maniac, wanna go out?"

<-- Really? That's the most creative thing you could come up with?

See what I mean? these are boring. they're not creative and they don't scream out CLICK ME CLICK ME CLICK ME!
uh YAWN!

However, the insanely boring are absolutely better then the following:

Looking for a fun, honest, nice girl <-- as opposed to a boring, lying bitch!

Single guy <-- I hope so, because if you're not, you've stumbled on the wrong site my friend!

nice guy looking for a chance <-- Dude, I get your plight, but this sounds a bit desperate to me!

Seeking a fun little lady to spend time <-- Did you really just say "little lady?" and spend time what? Guys PLEASE, DO NOT use the word LADY in your tag line! (Unless you're in your 60's and looking for a woman in her 60's, in which case, LADY away!)

Teddy Bear's looking for a Snuggle Bunny <-- Uh listen Shmoopy, no one talks like that! If anyone starts baby talking with me and calling me their little snuggle bunny, I may have to get medieval up in this. Some pet names are fine - Honey, sweetie, baby - I draw the line at Snuggle Bunny!

Looking for Smaller Lady
<-- Not only is this so wrong on so many levels! (OK he's honest but still) the guy who posted this claimed to be 27. In his picture he looks about 57. Nice try! why not just come out and say "No Fatties" and be done with it?

looking for a sexy kitty <-- Seriously??? This profile (or the brief intro paragraph I saw since I did not click on it), went on to say he's looking for a naughty girl! Moving on!

Where's all the good looking ladies?? <-- Just come out and say "Ladies, Ladies, Ladies, Jay and Silent Bob are in the Hizzouse!?" Actually I'd find that funny, but I'm sure you get my point!

Nice honest guy looking for the same <-- I get your point, but you may want to change your wording. Because if you're also looking for a nice honest guy, then you need to change your profile settings.

average guy seeks average girl
<-- "For mediocre relationship where we'll maybe hang out and shit. you know, whatever." A little enthusiasm please!

Those were just the ones I found this afternoon. I've seen worse!

Now to end this post on a high note! (see, I'm not a critical bitch all the time)! There are some very creative guys out there! And some classics that I laugh at no matter how many guys use em.

Do you like stuff? <-- I grew up with the Simpsons and Ralph Wiggum is funny! Plus this one one of the classic episodes!

The guy below/above me has a small package <--I laugh every time, do any girls write "the chick above/below has small boobs"?

I like dancing bananas <-- I have no idea what this means, but hey it's different

Found: 1 Glass Slipper. <-- Are you my Prince Charming? I've always been a little jealous of Cinderella. Plus I like shoes!

Looking for a girl to shovel my driveway <-- Cute! Good luck with that!

luckily, were both charming <-- Funny and true! 2 points for you!

Why do girls only want SEX?
<-- This guy definitely has a sense of humor! I think he was dreaming when he wrote this!

So guys, be creative, be innovative. You're trying to stand out, not blend!

If you want to Impress the ladies, maybe learn how to spell check first!

First of all, thanks for the comments. It's nice to know I'm not posting for my own entertainment!

I haven't been on my online dating site lately because I've been fairly busy.

But here is one thing that I noticed. A profile is like a resume (I'm sure we all agree, it feels like one anyway when you're writing it). You need your resume to stand out among all the other applicants. Would you hand out resumes with no spell check and in all caps? I doubt it. Or would you just hand an potential employer your picture and tell them that you'll update the resume later? probably not. So why then, men, do you think that these tactics will work when trying to impress the ladies? I know it doesn't attract me when a profile is poorly written. The occasional spelling mistake is always excusable (my fingers tend to type faster then my brain can spell too). But, a just plain old BAD profile...there's no excuse for that! It shows that you don't take the time to pay attention to the details. And ladies, when it comes to certain things, we like/need you guys to really pay attention to the details!

Now a good rant should always be supported by a great example. I've seen some bad profiles out there, and I'm sure fellow online daters have as well. But, WOW!!! This one takes the cake!

I received a message from a man with the following profile...


Lets break it down! First of all, the all caps thing...Lose that! do I want to date a shouter? NO!
"loveing" - I love to have proper spelling, does that count?
"Importint" - Is that when you bring in special tinting products from other countries.
I LIKE A WOMAN THAT LIKE GOING TO ZOO - bad grammar aside, I had to laugh at this because, the town that this potential suitor is from, is about 2 hours away from thee closest zoo.
WALKING DOWN RIVER - what if I want to walk up river too? is that out of the question?
HONEST BEST POLICY.DROP A LINE THANK - it sounds like he's on a cell phone that keeps cutting out.
ONE THINK I ASK IS IF YOU WANT LOOK THEN I NOT FOR YOU LOOK DO NOT MAKE THE PERSON . - I have no idea what this says. lol (actually I do, but you get my point). And Have you ever seen the movie Liar, Liar? the kid says "My teacher says that real beauty comes from within." Dad's response "That's just something ugly people say." ( <-- Great line)
I admit I'm no supermodel, but, in my opinion, you just told me that you think you're ugly. And while you're right, we should focus on what is inside, and all that crap. Lets face it, that's not always the case. Plus, I think I mentioned in my first post, that there, at least, has to be some form of physical attraction between a couple. If you don't find your partner attractive in some way then it's likely not going to work. I'm not being shallow, that's reality.
However, if you're going with the whole personality should be judged over looks argument, then you basically just said that you lack self confidence, and I don't really want to deal with that either.

Now, I know some of you are thinking that I should give him the benefit of the doubt and that maybe he's from another country, maybe his English is not up to par, etc. Well the profile says he's from a small town (where I know the population is predominitely English), he's Caucasian and there's a few other hints in there that would suggest that his first language should be English. So I'm not buying the "from a foreign country" protest.

In conclusion, this profile is terrible! And since my profile states that I like to be able to carry on interesting conversations (or it did at one point anyway, I've updated it a few times), then I'm sorry potential suitor, but I don't think we're going to mesh! (oh and I have received 2 messages from this guy and the grammar/spelling does not get any better. they're not in all caps though).

I'll see if I can get some more surf time in this week, and hopefully my next post will have some better news!

Thanks for stopping by!

Friday, April 4, 2008

The Search is on, and Boys are crazy

Welcome everyone to my blog. I am creating this blog out of frustration with the whole online dating world. I am from a small town where choice men are few and far between, so I thought I would try this whole online dating thing that seems to work so well for those happy couples on TV. I signed up to a few sites a couple of years ago, went on one date, and decided I wasn't quite ready to jump back into the dating scene. (I had been with one guy for 5 years and it ended badly and I wasn't quite over it I suppose).

But now I'm back. I've updated my profile, and if I do say so myself, I'm a catch! I'm not a size six, but I'm not exactly a whale either. I'm average! I'm lots of fun, I'm nice, I'm caring, and I'm a bit shy. I'm well educated, I have a career, I don't have kids or crazy ex husbands. I have strong values, and lots of hobbies. Basically I'm a nice, normal, well rounded individual. So why is this so freakin hard? And why do I seem to attract all the crazies? I just don't get it.

I had been chatting up this one guy, who seemed interested (and normal) but now he seems to have dropped off the face fo the earth.

And then there were a few other promising prospects (in the beginning anyway), but here is how they went.

The first guy lived a bit far away, but hey it could work, it was only a couple fo hours. We had been chatting and then my busy season hit at my job and I was not as quick to get back to his e-mails. He sent me an e-mail saying that I obviously wasn't interested anymore. I replied that I was still interested, and appologized for not answering quicker or being around to chat and explained that I was insanely busy at work, but that was only for a few more days.

Here was his response:
Yu know what? I think I'll pass. I did say I wasn't interested in people who play games, and obviously you're not entirely honest, so good and hopefully you'll be more honest for the next guy.

Not sure how he got that from "I'm so sorry I've been crazy busy at work." But whatever. I'm chalking it up to he's clingy and I don't need that.

Next guy I messaged because we had quite a few things in common and we seemed to be looking for the same things. We talked for 5 minutes (litterally messaged each other for 5 minutes and only talked about 1 topic). Then he asked if we could meet. Well as I said I'm a bit shy, and after a tough break up, I'm a bit guarded and don't want to jump into anything and get hurt again. (I'm sure there are a ton of you out there who feel the same way). So I said that I would need to chat more and get to know him before meeting IRL. (In Real Life for those playing the home game). I explained why, that I was afraid of getting hurt again. So, this guy, who was perfectly nice in our 5 minute conversation, turned into a mega asshole in a flash.

Here's the run down of that conversation: He's in Blue, I'm in Green, my comments are in black.

what made you send me a message
well I liked your profile, it sounded like we had some things in common, and I wanted to get to know you, chat a bit and see how things go.
and how things went lol? why is this funny?
But see, I'm actually quite shy, so I really do need to chat a bit before meeting anyone in person as in longer then 5 minutes
and how long that bit?
to be honest i am not the type that chat forever 5 mintues is forever? Impatient much?
so if you are not comfortable meeting after couple of times i dont want to waste your time or mine <-- Just to clarify "a couple fo times." Right before this he asked when and where we could meet.
um well OK, I'm sorry you feel that way. I was a little caught off guard and really didn't know what to say!
i am looking to meet someone to have something stable and dont want to waste time chatting forever again with the forever!
gotcha. See I was hurt pretty bad before, so I'm a bit nervous to to start anything. maybe nervous was the wrong choice of words. reluctant to meet someone after an exteremly brief conversation would have been better!
so dont be on a dating site <-- OK, excuse me, but who the fuck are you?!?
sorry i might be blunt bt i am honest You also need to work on spelling, punctuation and grammar (yeah now I'm just being catty - sue me!)
that's how you feel, and you're entitled to that.
i am not asking you to tell me how i feel lol So am I talking to Jekyl or Hyde now, because I'm confused! and again, why is this funny!? AND...I'm not asking you to tell me how I should go about this whole dating thing. My life jack ass!!! (Damn, why didn't I think of that at the time?)
so if i understood youa re not ready to live in the present and you want to live in your fear of getting hurt again? raise your hand if you've been hurt and your a bit worried about getting hurt again. No one wants that, it sucks!
pretty much yup <-- I basically said this because I was totally done with this conversation and really what is the point in arguing with this idiot!? It was also supposed to have sarcastic undertones! (as in, that's what you believe, so why should I waste my time trying to tell you otherwise)
youa dmitt you want to live in the past?
look, I'm not interested in arguing. if that's you're opinion then fine. It's not that I'm living in the past, I'm just trying to protect myself.
have a good life, i am not here to live other people dramas Remind me again, who's the one causing the drama?!?

OK, so you're deleted and I really don't need some multiple personality, angry, dumb ass in my life, so thanks for showing your true colours EARLY!

And this last guy. We seem to have a lot in common (again), we're looking for the same things (again), and we've been e-mailing back and forth, and everything is going smoothly. But he has no picture on his profile. (I have pictures, I figure you want to see who you're talking to, and lets face it, there has to be SOME physical attraction if you're going to date someone. Everyone can say it's what's inside that counts, but looks do count a little). So this guy is reluctant to send pictures. after about the 3rd or 4th e-mail he finally does, and OMG these pictures are so fake!!! Because anyone who is as hot as this guy claimed to be, is not reluctant to show anyone any pictures. And, well, if they are real pictures...THEN DAMN!!!! So I subtly, kind of, call him on the fakeness of his pictures, by asking questions about where they were taken (there was some interesting landscape in the background). Now like I said, I have pictures on my profile, so this guy has seen me and pictures of my hands. (You'll understand why this is important in a second)...here was his response to my question about the pictures!!!

i don't like girls who wear a lot of rings sorry...seems odd and well...maybe a little whacky for me to think that way...just can't see myself with some who likes that bye...

Are you fucking kidding me?!?!

If 1 ring on each hand is a lot, then he’s never gonna find a girl. Seriously, what the hell kind of excuse is that? and this is after one of the first messages where he says he's a NORMAL guy! Is that what the doctors have been telling you buddy?

So that's just a glimpse into the last 3 guys I've chatted with. (and the middle guy wonders why I'm a bit skeptical and don't want to meet right away).

This blog is going to mark my progress in the online dating world. If nothing else, it will be entertaining for you readers. Because all the crazies are going to end up on here. (yes I have wondered if maybe it's me, but come on - I don't like rings - that's not me, that just stupid)!

So enjoy the ride kids, because obviously it's going to be a bumpy one!!!